Random chat platforms have unwritten rules. They're not in any terms of service, but experienced users follow them and new users routinely violate them. Following the etiquette doesn't just make you a better chat partner — it directly affects the quality of chats you get matched into, because users who follow the norms tend to get matched with each other over time.

1. "Hi" Is Not a Conversation Opener

It puts all the work on the other person. Say something specific instead. See our guide to starting good conversations for what works.

2. Don't Ask "ASL" Within the First 30 Seconds

The age/sex/location question dates back to AOL chat rooms in the 1990s. It survived into random chat as a hostile reflex. Asking it immediately signals you're interested only in demographic-based judgments, not the person. Most users will skip on this alone.

3. Don't Compliment Appearance Within the First Minute

"You're cute" or similar puts the other person in an uncomfortable position. It also reads as a precursor to a sexual ask. Save genuine compliments for later in the conversation when they don't feel transactional.

4. Don't Stare Silently

Video chat with no talking is uncomfortable. If you don't want to talk yet, type something. If you want to think before responding, say so ("hmm, let me think about that"). Silent staring kills chats.

5. Don't Eat or Drink Loudly on Mic

Microphones amplify chewing and slurping into nightmare audio for the other person. If you need to eat during a chat, mute yourself or switch to text mode.

6. Don't Use Beauty Filters That Are Obviously Filters

Subtle beauty filters are fine. Heavy filters that make you look like a different species are awkward — most users will read them as deceptive rather than fun.

7. Skip Cleanly, Don't Lecture

If you want to skip, just skip. Don't deliver a goodbye speech about why you're not enjoying the conversation. The skip itself is the message.

8. Don't Ghost Mid-Conversation

If you have to leave during a good chat, say so. "I have to run, this was a great conversation" is way better than just disappearing. Real users notice and appreciate the closure.

9. Don't Push for Personal Info

If they don't want to share their name, country, age, or social media, drop it. Anonymity is the structural feature of the platform. Respecting it is the basic etiquette.

10. Don't Be Casually Racist or Sexist

Casual stereotyping about countries, genders, or cultures is the fastest way to get skipped and reported. "Wow, you're hot for a Japanese girl" or "Brazilian guys are always..." — both terrible and both common opener traps.

11. Don't Try to Move Off-Platform Too Fast

If a chat is going great, fine to suggest moving to Discord or similar after 30+ minutes. Suggesting it in the first 5 minutes reads as either a scam setup or as someone who's not really interested in the chat itself.

12. Report Genuinely Bad Behavior

The platform's moderation gets better when users report. If someone's being inappropriate, report them. Reporting isn't snitching; it's how the community quality improves.

The Etiquette Mindset

The general principle: treat each chat as a real interaction with a real human, even though both of you know you'll never see each other again. The transient nature isn't permission to be careless — it's the entire reason to be a little more thoughtful, since neither of you has any other reason to be in this conversation.

What Etiquette Earns You

Following these norms doesn't just feel good. On platforms with reputation systems (ChatRando, Emerald), well-behaved users get matched with other well-behaved users over time. The match quality improves the more etiquette you display. It's literally a virtuous cycle.

Common Questions

Is it rude to skip a chat that's not going well?

No. The skip is the platform's primary mechanic. Skipping is expected, not rude.

Should I say goodbye when I skip?

Only if you'd been chatting for a while. Quick skips early in the chat don't need explanations.

What if the other person is being rude — should I match their energy?

Better to just skip. Engagement rewards bad behavior. Disengagement starves it.

Best Pick

For a platform with a reputation system that rewards good etiquette: ChatRando's reputation system creates real benefits for following the etiquette norms above. For more on starting good chats, see our guide to starting conversations.